Birth of a Blog

by Jennifer E. 20. February 2011 16:55
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
~ Seneca
(Roman Philosopher, mid-1st century AD)

My husband, Steve, has been telling me for some time that I "should blog".  Depending on my self esteem on any such day, I could hear in that anything from, "You are such a clever, quirky writer, My Love!" to "Maybe blogging would help with all these things you seem to need to talk about
over and over again." to "Why don't you do something more creative and productive with your life?!"
The latter two statements are actually the voices of two of the several committee members who live in the conference room of my brain.  The committee meets often and they sometimes have a hard time letting my highest self be the chairperson.  Stephen actually read the paragraph above before he fell asleep tonight and laughed mightily.  Then he reminded me of all of the positive things he has said to me about my writing over the years.
I am truly blessed.  I am blessed because my husband tells me the truth (he can't seem to lie even when I tell him I would rather he did).  Seriously though, I am also blessed because even with those voices, I know the truth, too.  I may never be famous*, but I think I am a good writer and, just like every human being out there, I have a story of my own and some parts of it are actually pretty interesting.  Fucked up, but interesting nonetheless.
Okay...back to the blog.  In short, I started reading some blogs written by women who were speaking straight from their hearts.  They are in recovery, too, so I related immediately and ate up their words of honesty and trust.  SCREECH....I guess I need to make it clear here that I am a recovering Adult Child of an Alcoholic, Codependent, Alcoholic, Drug Addict, and Compulsive Eater.  Whew!  (Hope I didn't lose too many of you there.)  In April 1995, initially through therapy for severe depression, I started learning about the progressive, family disease of Alcoholism and I started to attend 12 Step meetings.  In July of that year, at the age of 24, I finally hit a bottom with my drinking and drug use and got help for that, too.  I'm grateful to say that TODAY I am clean and sober, and working toward serene and happy.
So I read these blogs and started thinking that this might be a great way for me to "journal" again.  I strongly believe in the power of writing, especially for troubled souls like mine.  I have not, however, seemed to be able to pick up a pen and any of the beautiful empty journals I have purchased over the years to encourage myself.  I am also not working in a paid position nor am I going to school right now and we have no children so I am missing the sense of accomplishment I had when I held a professional position.  I have tried volunteering and going to school and my life is definitely a busy one in many ways, but I am excited to see why I feel compelled to blog.
Thinking of a name was fun.  Some of the names I considered, with some input from friends, were: 
adventuresinalife
topsyturvyjourney

courageouslyvulnerable  - I'm a crier and no longer ashamed of it.  Out of compassion, grief, gratitude, empathy, PMS, or seemingly nowhere in particular, it just comes up and I let it flow.
onehumanbeing  - Relating to the struggle to reprogram myself from the old idea that I am supposed to (see "shouldshit" below) be a human doing to be worthy of love.
shouldshit  -  This is a statement 
my sponsor in New York used to say to me when I would do the woulda/coulda/shoulda game.  I no longer believe in "shoulding myself", or anyone else for that matter, or being "should upon".
maitrispirit - I think it better to direct you to what one of my greatest teachers (Pema Ch
ödrön, pictured below) has to say about maitri than to try to explain it myself.  I believe it is the essence of my true spirit and that the most basic things that keep me away from "unconditional friendliness", or loving kindness and compassion, toward myself and others are the fear and illusions that I hold on to...

 
For more about what Pema teaches about maitri, visit the links below:
So there were several other blog names I kicked around but once I had "One Woman Being" in my head, I continued to return to it.  Thankfully, and much to my computer engineer of a husband's pleasure, all three domain names (.com, .org, and .net) were available for a very small annual purchase price.  Wahoo!
I think I'll end this post here.  I have several blog topics already that I've been thinking about getting off my chest, or just sharing because they seem fun.  So, if you're interested, stay tuned, and we will see together where this ride will take us...

*("Famous" poem)* 
I did want to share with you a poem that a Shambhala teacher read to us last weekend at a meditation retreat.  It was written by Naomi Shihab Nye. The title of the poem is "Famous" and can be found via this link:  http://www.poetryoutloud.org/poems/poem.html?id=177521 
If you have trouble with the link, let me know and I will post the poem on my site.
 
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About the Author

Jennifer fancies herself a study in dichotomies and is sometimes quite surprised that no one has actually requested the honor of researching her life.  She loves to talk about herself but quite dislikes deciding what to write in a bio.

Married to her best friend and living in Cookie-Cutter Land, TX with their four sweet kitties, Jennifer started this blog as a means of chronicling her journey through a dark time in her life.  Feeling like she is coming back out into the sunlight, Jennifer doesn't know where blogging will lead, if anywhere, but is trusting in the desire she has to do so.

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